When you are considering a divorce from a spouse, schedule an appointment with a marriage counselor before hiring an attorney. While getting a divorce is often an easy thing to do, it can have devastating ramifications for your children and your future. In many situations, a marriage is savable by learning better ways to communicate. The reality is that marriage is hard work that requires making adjustments to a relationship many times over the years, and the problems that you have in one marriage can transfer to another relationship.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
When you are considering marriage counseling, you need to find an expert who offers therapy for couples or relationship counseling. This type of counseling is offered by psychiatrists and therapists. The individual who you select must have extensive education and state licensing to offer therapy to a couple. You should meet with a counselor for an interview session before making a long-term commitment. During this interview, make sure to discuss how the marriage counselor manages sessions along with the types of therapy they provide. You and your spouse should feel comfortable discussing intimate details of a marriage with the counselor.
How Long Does Marriage Counseling Last?
A couple must commit to multiple marriage counseling sessions, and your therapist may want to meet with each of you alone in addition to both spouses at one time. One counseling session is not enough to resolve issues, so you should prepare to see the therapist 12 to 24 times. You might meet with a counselor once per week, or the counselor may prefer having sessions twice a week. During this time, you can continue to live with a spouse, or in some cases, couples want to live separately while working through their problems.
Types of Problems Discussed During Marriage Therapy
If you have never visited a marriage counselor before, then you might feel anxious about talking to someone about your personal problems. Counselors understand that you are stressed about talking to them, but they are ready to use particular forms of therapy that are designed to improve communication. First, you need to help the counselor understand why you are in therapy, and here are the reasons chosen by most couples:
- Infidelity or cheating
- Anger or violence
- Financial difficulties
- Substance abuse
- Blending families
- Differences in raising children
- Sexual problems
- Difficulties with communication
Choosing a counselor who is located in a nearby area can make traveling to sessions easier, but if you are worried about confidentially, then select a therapist who lives farther away. It is important to remember that therapists do not discuss your sessions with anyone. Make sure to arrive for your counseling sessions 15 minutes early to discuss payment arrangements with the office staff.
What Can You Expect In a Marriage Counseling Session?
During the first counseling session, a counselor may ask questions about your relationship to determine why you are considering a divorce. When a couple is filing for a divorce, there are usually bad feelings, and it is common for each spouse to have intense emotions. You may begin to cry or yell at a spouse who has a drinking problem or who has had an affair. While the process of marriage counseling is difficult, it can lead to saving a marriage rather than getting a divorce.
Anthony is an avid blogger from Tulsa, Oklahoma who is passionate about encouraging healthy family values for all communities while working with the Gorospe & Smith Tulsa Divorce Law Firm in his own community.